I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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