rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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