no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
