Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
