I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize