We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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