Whod you bang
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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