You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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