So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I touched a dick in church today
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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