Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
