I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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