They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
