He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
