I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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