Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
