Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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