getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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