You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Randomize
