My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
