I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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