Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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