remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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