don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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