the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
