i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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