we're blogging at a bar
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
