do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize