Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
