Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
