Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Plan B is the new Plan A
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
