It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
