the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
