...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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