Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm both gender and math confused
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize