I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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