susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
what is it with giant penises always finding me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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