Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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