if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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