Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
