I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My brain says no but my pants say off.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
