Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
