Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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