I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
