I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
