Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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