when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
