areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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