Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
