I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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