the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
