Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
