You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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