wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
