I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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