omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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