if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize