I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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