tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
