I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
