she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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