I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have demons in me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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